View source for If I Were An Admin

{{humor}}
With apologies to, well, everyone, and blame to Lars Aronsson for [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikitech-l/2006-October/026949.html this post]. Sung to the tune of "[[w:If I Were a Rich Man|If I Were A Rich Man]]" from ''[[w:Fiddler on the Roof|Fiddler on the Roof]]''.

<poem>
"Dear [[W:Jimmy Wales|Jimbo]], you made many many editors.
I realize, of course, that it's no reward to be an admin
But it's no big deal either
So, what would have been so terrible if I had some small buttons?"

If I were an [[W:WP:Administrator|admin]]
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd [[W:WP:Blocking policy|blocky blocky bum]]
If I had the sysop bit.
I'd get to [[W:WP:ROLL|rollback vandals]]
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I had that little sysop bit
Yiddle-diddle-diddle-diddle bit.

I'd post on [[W:WP:Administrator's noticeboard/Incidents|noticeboards with diffs by the dozen]]
Right in the middle of the thread.
My welcome would tell newbies just where to go. 
I would have one long [[W:WP:Sig|sig]] with important links
And [[W:WP:TALK|talk page]] that is very widely read
With posts from all the users that I know.

I'd fill [[W:WP:UP|my page]] with links and [[W:Help:Files|pictures]] and tools and thoughts
(and perhaps which town I'm near),
[[W:WP:Template|templates]] and which pages to use them in,
and each [[W:Special:Logs/Delete|delete]] and [[W:Special:Logs/Block|block]] and [[W:Special/Logs/Protection|protection]]
would right on my user logs appear
so you will know this must be an admin!

If I were an [[W:WP:ADMIN|admin]]
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd [[W:WP:Block|blocky blocky bum]]
If I had the sysop bit.
I'd get to [[W:WP:ROLLBACK|rollback vandals]]
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I had that little sysop bit
Yiddle-diddle-diddle-diddle bit.

I see my life, my evenings, looking like an admin's life
several hours every day,
I'd chat on [[W:WP:IRC|IRC]] until past midnight.
I'd be up coding the [[W:WP:Bot|bots]] and automated tools to
wipe vandalism far away,
keeping all the pages looking right.

The most impatient editors would come to plead to me.
They would ask me if I'd help them
with the pages that they [[W:WP:WikiJaguar|stalk]].
"If you please, oh admin..."
"Pardon me, oh admin..."
I'll protect it 'til they work it out on [[W:WP:Talk pages|Talk]]!
And it won't make one bit of difference if the page is right or [[W:WP:The Wrong Version|wrong]] - 
an admin will freeze it there just so!

Had I the [[W:WP:MOP|mop]], I'd have the tools that I lack
to edit the [[W:Main Page|Main Page]] to my way
and maybe change the sitenotice when there's call. 
And I'd discuss our policy with -- yes! -- [[W:User:Jimbo Wales|Jimbo Wales]], several hours every day
That would be the sweetest thing of all. 

If I were an [[W:WP:ADMIN|admin]]
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd [[W:WP:Block|blocky blocky bum]]
If I had the sysop bit.
I'd get to [[W:WP:Roll|rollback vandals]]
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

[[W:Jimmy Wales|Jimbo]], who kicked off this crazy thing
and first gave the [[W:WP:JANITOR|janitor]]'s keyring,
would it really be a mortal sin
if I became an admin?
</poem>
[[Category:Humor songs and poems]]