If I Were An Admin

With apologies to, well, everyone, and blame to Lars Aronsson for this post. Sung to the tune of "If I Were A Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof.

"Dear Jimbo, you made many many editors.
I realize, of course, that it's no reward to be an admin
But it's no big deal either
So, what would have been so terrible if I had some small buttons?"

If I were an admin
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd blocky blocky bum
If I had the sysop bit.
I'd get to rollback vandals
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I had that little sysop bit
Yiddle-diddle-diddle-diddle bit.

I'd post on noticeboards with diffs by the dozen
Right in the middle of the thread.
My welcome would tell newbies just where to go.
I would have one long sig with important links
And talk page that is very widely read
With posts from all the users that I know.

I'd fill my page with links and pictures and tools and thoughts
(and perhaps which town I'm near),
templates and which pages to use them in,
and each delete and block and protection
would right on my user logs appear
so you will know this must be an admin!

If I were an admin
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd blocky blocky bum
If I had the sysop bit.
I'd get to rollback vandals
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I had that little sysop bit
Yiddle-diddle-diddle-diddle bit.

I see my life, my evenings, looking like an admin's life
several hours every day,
I'd chat on IRC until past midnight.
I'd be up coding the bots and automated tools to
wipe vandalism far away,
keeping all the pages looking right.

The most impatient editors would come to plead to me.
They would ask me if I'd help them
with the pages that they stalk.
"If you please, oh admin..."
"Pardon me, oh admin..."
I'll protect it 'til they work it out on Talk!
And it won't make one bit of difference if the page is right or wrong -
an admin will freeze it there just so!

Had I the mop, I'd have the tools that I lack
to edit the Main Page to my way
and maybe change the sitenotice when there's call.
And I'd discuss our policy with -- yes! -- Jimbo Wales, several hours every day
That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were an admin
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd blocky blocky bum
If I had the sysop bit.
I'd get to rollback vandals
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

Jimbo, who kicked off this crazy thing
and first gave the janitor's keyring,
would it really be a mortal sin
if I became an admin?